The man with the foreign hair…..


You know those little independent cubicles or stands you find in Shopping centres all over South Africa? You know…the ones that try to sell you hair straighteners? Don’t you find it appropriate that they have these teeny foreigners with longish hair doing the  hard irritating sell. Imagine a normal South African male doing it? Gay guys would intimidate us with their skinny jeans, fitted tops and perfect hair. Young heterosexual men would come across as absolute pathetic losers. And older guys would just be…..plain stalkerish, paedaphillic and freaky.

I watched a cubicle in action last Saturday. I was waiting at a coffee shop for a friend to join me for lunch. The scene unfolding before  me was enthralling. Someone approaches…Italian, Brazilian, Italian or Ecuadorian pastes on happy smile and approaches potential customer. Some people smile and walk past, others falter and don’t make eye-contact and walk on and then you get the T.W. Also known as Time Wasters, otherwise known as people who want to have their hair straightened for free. Those people nod and listen to the pro’s and con’s of owning this exquisite unsurpassed solver of all the world’s problems hair straightener, knowing full well they don’t plan on buying one. 

In the good two hours I sat there, I never saw one sale go down.  Do you think these guys come over to sell or are they ex-pats just living in South Africa? I’m dying to ask them. Except then I’d have to (yawn) listen to their boring sales “spiel”. And quite frankly I can’t be assed!


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