Today is a bad day. Feeling a tad miz and hard done by. You know that feeling when you think everyone around you is talking about you and is taking advantage of you.
When in actual fact, no-one is. My husband always says that when everything and everyone is a problem, YOU must be the problem coz you’re the common denominator. I think he could be right. Annoyingly practical as ever.
You see, it’s simple in my life. I get depressed, I eat chocolate, I cope with the shite life deals out! But at the moment I’ve given up chocolate for Lent. I’m not even Catholic, I’m Methodist. But at the time it seemed the cool thing to put as my status on facebook. I stupidly announced it! And everyone knows I’m a chocoholic and so they’re waiting for me to slip up and starting cramming chocolates down my throat. But I won’t on principle. Just to show everyone whose boss. Just to show everyone who their Mamma is.
facebook can be so boring. Especially all those motivational messages. Get a life people! Where are the interesting statuses?
For example, I think should statuses should read:
Joan Webb is feeling soooooooooo horny at the moment.
Sing-Lu Wang had the biggest smelliest poo, EVA and feels a million times better!
Margot Bartlett is super annoyed with her kids and would like to trade them in. She is especially sick to death of all this baking and project making that school entails!
Renesme Cullum can’t believe how crap Betty Jones looked in that dress? Can her arse get any bigger?
Francine Cummings would like to tell her Mother-in-law to Fak off and take her fack-wit off a son with her!
Andrea Jones has a bruised vagina from all the angry sex she had last night
Terri Lange is lying in a post coital blissful haze …..
Jeff Nevay is keen for a blowjob tonight
Ah well, some of these are a bit below the belt. But well, it’s a more interesting than
boring motivational post-its!!!!!
(all names are fictional and a figment of my imagination)……….