I went to a Christian ladies retreat on Saturday. It was truly the best Spiritual Day I’ve ever experienced. I barely stopped crying for the whole day and broke into sobs at the end while watching a short 4 minute video. I’m very controlled and I cry a lot, but never in public. My eyes swell up and I wail-sob. Not sob delicately into my white lace handkerchief. I sob, great big shoulder heaving, throw myself into the nearest person’s arms kinda thing. I find I cry more easily since the kids have been born.
The thing is, …..on Saturday, I discovered I was loved, like in REALLY loved. and it was good, no actually GREAT. I think that women, are so hard on themselves, we try so hard to be all-rounders, put make up on, cook well, shag well, be good mommies that we sort of lose the plot on loving ourselves. But for me it wasn’t about me loving myself more… it was that someone loved me wholeheartedly. All of me beyond my mascara, basic beige foundation, Timberland shoes, Black Ivory dress and black leggings. The love went beyond that. It seeped right into my soul and touched parts of me I never knew.
I never knew I yearned to be love until I was. And for someone who loves getting surprised I loved the surprise of it all.
It’s such a gift to impart good news on to someone or be an encouraging person. It’s so easy to criticise a situation or be disparaging about someone. Any fool can criticise, but to be a born encourager or uplifter….wow…what a gift. The two guest speakers on Saturday, both so different, yet filled with such Joy, gave us gifts, all of us, that I know I will cherish for a long time. I will smile with happiness, that God loves me, REALLY loves me, right down into my soul.