Something deep and truthful….

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You know that bitchy term” Get a life?”. Well I seriously think it should apply to most statuses I read on facebook. Most conversations I’ve had in the last few days. Please, I implore you, “Get a Life?”

School is NOT the only conversation I want to have with you. What? Who is copying your products? Get a life! Please. You’re the only one who cares…

It’s the hard fact and hard truth. You’re the only one who cares. Tell me about something meaningful in your life. Something deep and truthful. Something you’re yearning for and afraid to reach out and grab it.

Let me begin.

I’m so terrified I fall pregnant. Excited and terrified at the same time. It’s so difficult to think I might be making another child like Molly. Or making another child like Aidan. I can’t go through all that pynΒ and leiding again. I’m almost 40 for fuck’s sake. What dumb fuck has a baby at almost 40? Yes, I know, most of my friends and most of Europe! I’m still scared.

I think a spiritual intervention is needed to calm me down and reinforce my faith. You see I’ve prayed for a normal baby. And if you ask God for something, you must have the belief and faith that it will happen.

Oh my hat what have I done? This place where I’m standing, is so terribly frightening.

and very, very brave…

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4 responses »

  1. I hope that you get to take that deep breath and dive into those deep and sometime murky waters… with those 2 little lines. It’s an incredible journey!

  2. Welcome back! And you know how conversations go in farmland…sometimes enough to drive you “van my trollie af” ( Dirk…).
    On the braveness and scary place: Yes. All true. But predictable and boring and safe is scarier than taking a leap into unknown territory.
    ( ps. My 3rd sis is finally pregnant after infertility treatment. 4 weeks. So if you are too you’ll be due at the same time)
    Hallo…………………….where you running to……….??? πŸ™‚

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