Well, since I haven’t written much about The fat diaries in a while, or sat moaning and belting out how fat I am, I thought I would today.
I stood on the scale this morning. After that I heaved myself heavily into the bath. The water rose by an inch or two, I think. I didn’t measure. I gazed down my E’s to my quivering tummy, that incidentally Aidan used to lather with soap when he was younger and use it as a slide, and then I searched. I searched to the left. I searched to the right. Where was my beaver?
and then it hit me…..
I haven’t seen her in years in the bath. My tummy is too big. Even when lying flat. Shame poor thing, in the dark like that.
I stood up. Towel dried and there she was. Like a big fat Volksie Bonnet emerging from a car wash. In the shade of First, Second and Third Stomach. But not too shabby herself, weight wise.
So in conclusion, should you ever have wondered one fine summer’s day, if fanny’s put on weight, then I can tell you unequivocally, that YES, my dear, they do!