Spring has sprung…but Donna Claire hasn’t come to the party…

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Spring usually inspires me to shop for a few new clothes. This is what I have to say about that:

Dear Donna Claire

Yesterday I walked excitedly into your shop with the intent on buying a top or two. All I can say is that your Buyer has kak taste. She needs to be taken up by her ankles and hung at dawn. That’s how ghastly the clothes are at the moment. Coloured skinny jeans! Striped jeans. What the hell is that? 1986? No dharl, NO. It’s horrible.

You all need to understand one thing sitting in your air-conditioned offices in Johannesburg, I like to look good. I’m voluptuous, but hey guess what? I don’t want to look like an oude doos frumpy granny with eff all taste.

I like soft fabrics. 100% cotton. 100% linen. It looks elegant, classy and beats the heck out of any synthetic fibre mass-produced in Japan.

Why do you sit in your office and buy  clothes that don’t flatter a fuller figure? Are you even over weight? Do you even understand? Fat girls like clothes and they STILL like to dress well. Gathers in jeans are a no-no. Big voluminous shirts that making your boobs look bigger and look like a dyke are also out. No! No! Shiny black pants with matching shoulder padded jackets are hideous. Big knitted jerseys that hang down to your knees are so unflattering. They make me look shorter and dumpy.

I wish I could come and help you. There’s a whole world of delicious clothes out there.

Please up your game? You’re not shy with your prices…you like to charge for the privilege of shopping with you. So now…..just supply the right goods…Fun, funky clothes that make me feel like Victoria from Paris and not Tannie Magda from Parys!

Yours sincerely,

Countesskaz

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15 responses »

  1. You are so funny and so, so right! I hope you have sent this to Donna Claire. In fact, I think you should make it a petition to send to them. I know, I, for one, would sign it. I too prefer to wear clothes that make me feel like a voluptuous vamp rather than a fat frump.

  2. I don’t even bother going in there. Just a few weeks ago I bought a really lovely dress from a place called http://www.captive8.co.za on recommendation from a colleague and I love it! Some of their stuff is not really my kettle of fish, but the dresses are really pretty.

    Worth a shot?

  3. LOL, the other thing I don’t understand is that they automactically assume that the fatter you are the taller you are. I can neve buy a pants without having to cut half of the legs off. And it’s not like I’m a dwarf or something

  4. I sooooo agree. I very rarely find something in Donna Claire that I like – okay so the stuff fits me and I have no problem finding larger sizes but nothing in my style (and I also have the problem with being fatter not taller). I usually shop in the Rene Taylor section of Milady’s. However a few weeks back I had a wedding to go to – invitation said formal, eeek. Nothing in Milady’s – between seasons I guess. Went into Donna Claire and tried on EIGHT formal dresses, two were on sale but of course they didn’t look good on me, but the purple roman style one was awesome – quite different from what I normally wear and two sizes smaller but obviously designed for the “fuller figure”. Kept the slip because I still wasn’t totally sold on it but my DH said it looked good so I wore it. Got lots of compliments at the wedding so I guess the buyer for evening wear got one right.

  5. I just have to agree. My main arse-itch is when they use the wrong freaking fabric for the style of clothing and the size of the customer! Like stretchy crimpaline – and where we stay – 40 deg in summer is quite achievable, so although you may look uber hot, you smell uber stinky. Or even worse, good ol georgette. (sister is a designer, so I am in the know when it comes to fabrics that are not comfortable to wear.) With these choices, you will hit the smell-o-meter at pickled fish, round about 10am in the morning. And there is definitely a sector of the market that they are not catering for. If you are 20 – skinny jeans that pinch your muffin tops are still acceptable. If you are 60 – looking like Vonkeldame, Matrone Netta Nortje or Charmaine, with their billowing floral georgette and chiffon NG blouses are fine. But what about the (usually) mommies, 40-ish something, running around, trying to earn a living, raise kids and needing to look sexy at least once in a while?

  6. I’m going to a casual garden wedding in two weeks so a spring frock is in order. Given my previous success with the evening dress, I headed for Donna Claire full of optimism. The disappointment – nothing resembling a spring frock. Thought about this post and now agree with you whole heartedly. Took a quick walk through Foshini, Ackermans, The Hub, Pick n Pay, Edgars, Mr Price – nothing even worth trying one. A few possibilities in Miladys (Rene Taylor section) but nothing to send me to the fitting rooms. Tried on a few things in Truworths but they obviously were not meant for the fuller bodied figure 😦 Finally found a navy cotton number in Woolworths – kind of a shweshwe print but lighter material. Looks pretty good on me but not exactly spring like. Maybe Donna Claire and Milady’s will get new stock in the next week or is that too much to hope for?

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