Monthly Archives: January 2014

The one about learning to shoot a shotgun……

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Yesterday I spent the whole day sitting on my bum boering on facebook, Instagram and wordpress. The reason being, I had to lurk around the house as we are FINALLY finishing our kitchen. There aren’t many skilled workmen in a rural area so I had to sit and keep my beady eyes peeled. Don’t think the tiler has ever used his spirt level so much before. It’s exhausting watching all the time. I think I would loathe being a construction foreman.

Much easier being a projects manager.

Rural life……this is life on a farm.

I did something I’ve put off for years yesterday. Late yesterday. Due to the increasing stats on farm murders, John showed me how to use a shotgun. I hate guns, simply because I’m afraid of them. Terrified. He’s shown me before but every now and again I get a refresher course.

Friends of ours were attacked about 7 years ago and she once told me that, had she not had a plan of action in place, they would have been killed. Instead they handled it smartly and successfully.

Now, I dont mean to paint this picture of us living in a house with burglar bars, closed doors and windows and panic buttons strung around our necks. Quite the contrary. We live with doors wide open. Every window wide open and sometimes we only lock our doors at half past nine at night. I feel safe here.

But there’s always that 1% danger factor.

When John and I visit friends in Joburg, it drives us crazy to live behind locked doors all the time. If you’re not used to it, its stifling.

So there I was holding and cocking the shotgun and John calmly telling me what to do if an intruder was in the house. Scary stuff. Not for me…but for my children. Everytime I wavered John gently reminded me, it was to protect myself and the kids.

Anyway that’s enough information for today. You’re probably freaked out. I’m off to drink my tea on the stoep, admire my extraordinary view and wait for my curtain lady to arrive.

some feathery stroker stuff to mull over……..

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Yesterday someone posted one of those irratatingly annoying feathery stroker “words of wisdom” thingy-ma-jigs on facebook. Now I never read that crap. ‘Coz its as boring as….watching paint dry.

But….. and a BIG but at that….yesterday one of the sentences caught my eye.

It said…”If someone doesn’t like you…its none of your business

Huh? That stopped me clean in my tracks.

If someone doesn’t like you…it’s none of your business.

And I thought about this. And I mulled over this the whole day. I’m still deliberating over this at the moment. In fact I think I may be contemplating over this sentence for a while.

It’s so true. ‘Coz if someone doesn’t like you, it really is none of your business. It’s their problem. It’s their business. They are the ones having to deal with this.

Why worry about something you can’t change? It’s a waste of time. It’s a waste of energy.

So…I dedicate this post to two girls in my “in-law family” that I spend so much time and effort over..I dedicate this to them. I love them, but I don’t like them. Well for the moment anyway.

I read somewhere that its easy to love someone. You love someone for life. But liking is SO much more difficult. You have to work at the liking bit. ‘Coz we don’t like everyone all the time do we?

But I know that I’ve worked hard at getting them to like me. I’ve been kind, and interested in their lives.

and well…..at the end of the day…when all’s said and done…

if they don’t like me…it’s their business.

‘coz whats not to like?

seriously!

The great res-erection

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Now, anyone that knows me well, will know that I adore people. I like being in company old and young. Chatting and listening and laughing.

People are interesting. Most of the time.

It’s just that at the moment, I’m bored. I am. I feel like I’m there but I’m not. Do you know what I mean?

It’s not a sad observation. I’m not huddled in the corner thinking “Oh my word, I don’t fit in here!”. I’m just sort of.. how can I put this…

I feel like I’m not in sync with others around me. I’m sitting there and nodding and smiling and thinking….well not exactly thinking great thoughts.

Thoughts flashing through my mind are:

  • she’s as deep as a 5c piece
  • tell me a real problem
  • bored
  • bored
  • bored
  • Your child is normal love. No! not a genius! No! Not a sports legend.
  • normal
  • normal
  • bored
  • bored
  • How would I spend my lotto winnings? (This is my favourite thought)
  • should I wallpaper the wall in my bedroom?

And frankly the problem lies with me. This not syncing with the rest of the world thing. I know this for a fact.

You see….I think it’s because I’m reading total smut on my kindle. I’m talking throbbing manhood kind of smut. Reaching a full O against the wine barrel.

You may not remember but I mentioned losing my “mojo” a while back. Yes, my Mojo disappeared and things were.. Well, they went dead. Like in….completely.

Flatlined.

I panicked because I was only just, just, just 40. Doesn’t this happen much later?

And now I’m preoccupied. Because, well I’ve started feeling some, fuckload of stirrings in my loins. And it feels great, gorgeous, delicious to feel horny again.

I feel young and sexy.

and… I’m feeling my husband. A lot.

and he’s feeling me. A lot.

 

Her soulful eyes…

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Every now and again you meet someone who is remarkable. Whose strength and will almost shifts your mindset and changes your view on life at that moment.

Yesterday I met someone who has been through the mill. When I say met, I use that term loosely as we have met once before. She is a few years younger than me. The biggest blue eyes I’ve ever seen, tall and slender. I vaguely knew a bit about her. But not the finer details.

She began our conversation and asked where Molly was. I answered her and she casually told me about her 4 kids. The eldest being a girl, would have been 13 years old. Her second daughter, would have been 11 years old, the 3rd child is a grade younger than Aidan and shared a dorm with him last year and lastly her 4th child is 4 years old. The two youngest are boys and fit as a fiddle and very handsome chaps. If you’ve read the above paragraph closely you would see I used the past tense about the two girls. Both died within two years of each other and both died of fluke natural causes.

My point is that she hauled herself up, carried on life as she knew it and lived. My good grief how did she do it?

She is open about her two girls. She says she loves talking about them. She misses them. She is an engaging, happy person. Interesting and interested in whats happening around her.

I mentioned her big blue eyes before, because, you know what they say…The eyes are the mirror to your soul. John said to me, he found them sad, but I disagreed, I dont. I found them soulful, empathatic, full of humour and full of delight in the world.

Too pick yourself up after two tragedies like that. Well it takes character and God’s own grace.

 

Happy birthday to an angel in heaven…

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Happy Birthday to my mom in law.

Gone 3 years ago and still missed.

Pain in the ass at times. But still fun to be with. Always a pillar of strenth.

Funny how life goes on even though she was a big part of our lives. Can’t wish her back. You can’t wish a cancer patient back.

Running with the angels in heaven and bossying everyone about.

John and I laugh when we remember stories about her. Always good happy memories.

elmine and molly

happy birthday you old trout!

WTF?

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Good grief, but it’s a depressing day.

Bad news from all sides. Aidan off to school tomorrow. Marking last bit of stationery at lastminute.com (unlike me to do that). Cloudy and overcast outside. I finished my book too.

Boo fucking hoo!