Tag Archives: clothes

Spring has sprung…but Donna Claire hasn’t come to the party…

Standard

Spring usually inspires me to shop for a few new clothes. This is what I have to say about that:

Dear Donna Claire

Yesterday I walked excitedly into your shop with the intent on buying a top or two. All I can say is that your Buyer has kak taste. She needs to be taken up by her ankles and hung at dawn. That’s how ghastly the clothes are at the moment. Coloured skinny jeans! Striped jeans. What the hell is that? 1986? No dharl, NO. It’s horrible.

You all need to understand one thing sitting in your air-conditioned offices in Johannesburg, I like to look good. I’m voluptuous, but hey guess what? I don’t want to look like an oude doos frumpy granny with eff all taste.

I like soft fabrics. 100% cotton. 100% linen. It looks elegant, classy and beats the heck out of any synthetic fibre mass-produced in Japan.

Why do you sit in your office and buy  clothes that don’t flatter a fuller figure? Are you even over weight? Do you even understand? Fat girls like clothes and they STILL like to dress well. Gathers in jeans are a no-no. Big voluminous shirts that making your boobs look bigger and look like a dyke are also out. No! No! Shiny black pants with matching shoulder padded jackets are hideous. Big knitted jerseys that hang down to your knees are so unflattering. They make me look shorter and dumpy.

I wish I could come and help you. There’s a whole world of delicious clothes out there.

Please up your game? You’re not shy with your prices…you like to charge for the privilege of shopping with you. So now…..just supply the right goods…Fun, funky clothes that make me feel like Victoria from Paris and not Tannie Magda from Parys!

Yours sincerely,

Countesskaz

Advertisements

Variety and choice…….

Standard

Am just loving this year so far. 2012 is going to be good one! We have so much to look forward too. A trip to Cape Town next week for a wedding, sight seeing and just new horizons.

After that more 40ths, weddings, an agricultural expo and a formal dinner before the end of February.

Also….John and I are on the serious prowl for an awesome ski boat that seats about 8 people. We want caviar with beer money so to speak, like everybody else I think… Anyway after much chatting, discussion, talking and debating we have decided on a make and  a price/budget and we are on the move. We look forward to taking our family out on healthy outdoor activities. Molls will have to get used to it all and fit in with all the action. So divine. Can already picture myself sipping a Savannah in the sun on the Kowie.

Sorted my clothing cupboard out last week. I was ruthless, I tossed out anything that hadn’t been worn in the last year and ANYTHING that made me feel fat or gahhhhh. I colour co-ordinated and now have matching hangers and an organised cupboard. Even my handbags have a spot and placed neatly. I feel quiet Zhoozsh for having done that!

Project EMPLOY SOMEBODY SOON is underway and will be happening shortly.

My mantra or mission statement this year, if you will, is not to do anything that I can pay someone else to do. I’m going to be outsourcing and sub-contracting BIG TIME!! To free me up to spend more time with my hubby and kids. Spend more time on myself and health and excersise.

Well, we all start off with the best intentions.I have to lose weight ‘coz you see, I love clothes and there’s not much variety for a size 22. I’ll be happy with a size 16. More variety and more choice.

Who doesn’t love variety and choice?

Fat bitchin’ session!

Standard

The last few days have had me mulling over something. What makes some people thin and some people fat? Others can eat what they like and others(like me) look at food and gain a few kilograms. Obviously the intake versus excercise, blah blah bladhee blah thiny-ma-jig comes into effect. I KNOW that, so don’t be a wise ass!

But why are some people, like my sisters, born with a gene that  makes them more aware of what they eat? I eat now and worry later. Why does it not concern me in the way that it should and in a way that  should spur me into action to do something about it? What is that? This issue has concerned me for years. Not the weight issue as much as the nonchalant issue!

Today I put on  about 6 different outfits before I went back to the first one I tried on. I still wasn’t happy with the outcome. I felt uncomfortable the whole day and self-conscious. In a nutshell, I let a pair of crappy fitting jeans dictate my opinion about myself and my outlook on the day.

The thing with weight is that it’s an external encumbrance. Out there for the whole world to see. Out for everybody to judge and form an opinion on. It’s not a fragility that is hidden. It’s out there to be whipped and flogged by everybody that cares to.  It’s there to fuel my relentless self loathing and to vex me constantly.

Every week I subject myself to failure at my weekly weighing sessions. Sometimes it’s fine and I lose weight, but more often than not, I don’t. What other person takes their personal failure and exposes it to the world for public ridicule? Not many I’m sure…….