Tag Archives: Molly

Some bare facts about living on a farm in South Africa:

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Some bare facts about living on a farm in South Africa:

  • You have to watch out for snakes like puffadders and ringhals and some of my friends have Cape Cobra’s too. They are VERY aggressive.
  • You can’t pop out to the Kwik Spar or Woolies food store for supper ingredients. Your pantry has to be filled with incidentals and ingredients to whip up a cake or a dinner for 10 at all times.
  • You can’t walk around in your knickers as someone will invariably be walking past the window with a pile of wood and see you.
  • You have to be on the look out for strangers.
  • It’s peaceful
  • There is dust everywhere
  • Everything packs up at once: for example

geyser bursts

tap leaks

shower door comes off its rails

toilet blocks(this will ONLY happen when you about to greet a carload of visitors or when everyone has sat down to tea!)

tractor needs a new gear box

pump gets flooded

pool filter packs up

washing machine refuses to spin

fridge makes a last dying sound

  • the above did not all happen at once but I have been in a similar situation
  • Oh and the worst…..is not being able to get decent “experienced handy men to work on the farm…such as tilers, electricians, plumbers, builders etc. In town you have a choice of 30 plus, we have one choice!
  • AND THE worst…..sending your child away to boarding school….boo hoo
  • oh and everyone expects 3 x 3 course meals when they visit you

I had a little nap after lunch, that’s probably why I’m grumpy. That’s another thing you can do on a farm….send Molly off with the nanny and have a lovely after lunch snooze.

oh and eat copious amounts of biltong and drink lovely fresh water to balance out the water retention.

and our kids can play with guns and shoot buck up and shit. (said with tongue in cheek!)

Living on a farm is a juxtaposition in more ways than one.

 

 

 

chall Day 10-what’s inside my handbag……..

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Who cares? seriously. I don’t care what’s inside your handbag, so pretty sure you don’t care what’s inside mine.

But the answer is:

  • my bag would probably classify as a bit of a  “whore se handsak” (whore’s handbag)
  • it’s full of till slips
  • coins in the bottom
  • Some of Aidan’s magnets and rubber egg lookalikes
  • old tissues to wipe up Molly’s nose
  • hidden away choco wrappers so John can’t see how many chocolates I’ve eaten. (remember the old rule? If no-one sees you eat it…it never was)!!!
  • wallet
  • cheque books…yes we still use them in the platteland. Almost phased out though.
  • my kindle
  • Beautiful by Estee Laude
  • My faithful Revlon lipstick that lasts for 24 hours
  • keys to my showroom
  • one or two Rennies covered in fluff at the botom of my bag
  • my iphone

phew!! now I feel quiet violated….. never realised how revealing that could be.

On another note, Molly did well yesterday with her second day of school. I cannot enthuse enough at how FANTASTIC that school is.

Aidan has his ups and downs. He seems to be enjoying school but starts wobbling when we phone him at night. He tells us how much he misses us. Breaks my heart but I remain firm in our descision to send him to that school. He is blossoming there acedemically and on the sports field. Everything is geared for boys and the way they think. and today is Friday, my favourite day of the week. Yay! I fetch him today!

But first I need to drive to my showroom and meet a potential BIG customer there this morning. Feel positive about the potential business. Contract framing work for a big company.

So, so enjoying this new phase of my life. I have direction with Molly, and Aidan is doing well at his school. Plus the new Moms I’ve met at Aidan’s school are a hoot a minute and I’m enjoying their company very much. They are a bunch of straight talking farmers wives. They’re up to date, zhoozsh, and entertaining!

Have a great FRIDAY!!! I know I will.

 

The letter to Aidan’s ex teacher…….

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Reply email this week to Aidan’s teacher from last year:

Hi Alley,

Today’s visit at Molly’s potential school went MILES better than I imagined. John met Mrs K (principal) and then I took Molly and John to meet Edith Wilson(phase 1 teacher and Makaton teacher). Molls thought the class was the business! She loved it and fitted right in. In fact on our way out after sitting in the class and chatting to the teacher, all the kids lined up and held hands to walk to the playground, a little boy put his hand out to grab Molly and said: “come”. It was so sweet and my heart just melted. Molls was keen as anything to go with but we were still discussing things with Edith.

It sounds like we can take her once a week but Mrs K wants to confirm it with the HOD and Edith said she’d like Molly in her class. (this was after she’d heard Molly shrieking with excitement and clapping her hands and walking from this child to that child) Apparently Dr A-K phoned her yesterday to discuss it with her. Everything has fallen into place and I pray the last bit will fall into place too(the CONFIRMATION OF HER ACCEPTANCE!!!!!!)

Aidan had a complete meltdown on the phone on Tuesday night and sobbed and begged me to come and fetch him, he kept saying that he wanted to go to Mrs Nieve’s school, please mommy, please mommy! Well we didn’t phone last night. I phoned tonight and he was a chirpy as anything, cheerful. I was so pleased because after I put the phone down on Tuesday night, I sobbed and wailed like a baby! John had to console me and give me lots of attention.

So, I’ve survived the first week of boarding school and the handing in of Molls’ application form and school visit. Quite emotionally draining.

I was saying to John’s tonight that I never realised how much you’d miss the kids, I mean I knew you would, but I never realised quite how much. I’ve been so preoccupied with myself and haven’t been there to pat you on the back….

So excited to see Aidan tomorrow that I could wee in my pantaloons!!!

Love

Countess Kaz

xx

Names have been changed to protect the innocent.  Smiley face!

Hold thumbs for my Molls xxxx

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So today I did a big thing. I put my big girl panties on and went and sussed out a potential school for Molly to go to next year. It’s a school for mentally challenged children. GULP. Even difficult to write, let alone say that out loud. School for the mentally challenged. Not an easy pill to swallow and heartsore at best.

Although, credit where credit is due and I’m handling it very well. So well done to me. Clap clap clap. Pat on the back and all that.

I feel at peace. I got such a good energy from the school, the teachers and the kids. Truth be told… I was impressed.

There are still lots of hurdles for me to jump. Like, taking Molls for Education assessments and Educational psychologists to test her IQ. Gulp. Getting her case reviewed by the Board, being put on a waiting list. and then we fill out an application form and we wait.

Please say a prayer for my little Molls. It’s the school for her. And as her Mommy, I say it’s the school for me too. Just think, a whole school of little Molly’s, a whole school of parents that will give me knowing understanding looks. Bliss, I tell you. and very comforting.

Holding thumbs. You must to.

Discoveries this week…..

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It’s funny how life has these twists and turns as you go along.

Discoveries this week:

  • I’m competitive on the road. I don’t like people passing me on a double lane, I have to restrain the urge to “put foot”.
  • I generally find people interesting.
  • I found the 50 shades trilogy dull as ditch water.
  • I found myself thinking about sex A LOT whilst reading the Trilogy.
  • I enjoyed going to a party with just Aidan this morning and not having to take Molls. I enjoyed not explaining to ignorant moms her story and making sure the nanny was looking after her properly etc I found her not being there less stressful and liberating. May God forgive me.
  • I received Aidan’s acceptance letter and school fees table for next year etc and I was filled with dread.
  • I’m getting my spark for life back
  • I’m getting better at handling the changes and constant manoeuvering of bounderies with Molly. Still am finding it more difficult the older she gets.
  • I am sometimes too straight with people which sends them into shock. Must learn more patience and tact.

Have a great weekend.

A letter to friends…

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Dear Friends of a Mom whose daughter is not like your own,

Please don’t undermine or disrespect my daughter. And above all don’t disregard her. You have to watch what you say, because sometimes you can come across as tactless. Well, not all of you, rather one or two out of twenty. I know it’s annoying having to sometimes walk on eggshells when I’m in a sensitive mode, but quiet frankly, it’s not nearly as bad as the daily shite I have to put up with, so grow a pair!

Please don’t feign politeness or concern. I don’t care if you don’t mention my child. I don’t always care about your child either. I’d rather have no concern than tactless insincerity. All it does is annoy me and I seethe and imagine witty retorts I should or could have said when lying in the bath at night.

Please ask questions if you feel like asking questions. Your interest in my child is welcome.

Again, please don’t disregard my child. Ever. It’s so rude and disrespectful.

And above all, please treat my little precious girl with kindness. She reacts well to kindness and you may get treated to a glimpse of the awesome person that she is.

Thanks to most of you that handle this with aplomb and grace,

To the other 10%, come on, you can do better!

with fondest love

countesskaz

xxx

The eviction……..

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Today a bad thing happened. I knew it might, but I had to chance it as only a mother would. I had to give my little girl the chance to take part and enjoy a musical show. So there we sat and she shrieked a few times and made a few guttural sounds with excitement.First song, second song, snickering and turned heads from the other kids to see where the noise was coming from, and then there she was, the female teacher from the Drakensberg Boys Choir, asking me if I could take my child out? Now, before you get all huffy about this, let me make something clear. She said it very nicely and kindly. But it hurt. It still hurt me and I felt humiliated for my Molly and for myself.

I knew she might be noisy, but as a mother I had to expose her to the music. You see it’s all to easy to keep her away from everybody, it’s easier for me. But what about Molly? But I know now, that she can’t do everything other kids do. There are limitations. I discovered that today. It was a lesson I had to go through as her mother. I had to give her a chance too.

Fortunately Seko, Molly’s nanny, and I had discussed a game plan if this did happen and so I looked at Seko, who nodded her head in understanding, and off she toddled with Molls down the stairs. I sat there, childless, a friend who’d joined me earlier had witnessed the expulsion of my noisy cerebral palsy child, promptly burst into tears. Now, I don’t know why, but it FKED me off completely. Who is she to pity my child? How dare she make me feel worse by crying tears of pity? So there I sat, humiliated, feeling bad at Melanie crying next to me, feeling bad for the woman who had the bad luck at having to turf Molly out, angry at God for making me feel like this, angry at Molly for putting me through this, and I sat with bottom lip quivering and eyes welling up with tears. I physically restrained myself from crying, smiled and clapped like mad and enthusiastically at the performance.

You see if I’d cried, everyone around me would have felt bad and it would have been everyone’s day spoiled. Not just mine. So God knows where I drew the strength from. I forced my down-turned lips upwards, concentrated on the performance on stage and by sheer will and determination behaved normally.

Truth be told, I love my child. Molly is my daily blessing. God chose well by making me her mother. I’m strong and I have a sizable pair of balls.  But phew, it’s hard sometimes. It’s hardest to smile at everyone around you while your heart is weeping silently in your chest.

I’m tired now.