Tag Archives: sex

Another birth story from the farm….

Standard

I forgot to mention that this past Monday I made another labour run to the local Hospital.

My Ironing lady runs breathlessly into my framing room, “We have a problem”.

“Yes”, I reply annoyed at the interruption.

“My sister’s about to have a baby and the ambulance hasn’t arrived yet. Please take her into town.”

So off I dashed, pregnant fairy groaning on the backseat. I arrived at the hospital at 9-30am. When I arrived home, Noza walked into my framing room at about 10am and told me the baby had just been born and it was a little girl. We arrived in the nick of time. Don’t think I could have coped with a birth on my back seat.

But I have vowed to my staff that when we get back from Jozi, I’m organising a sex talk on the farm to re-educate and remind everyone to  u-condomize .We’re having a baby a week on this farm. Born to unwed young mothers.

I’ll organise the talk but the rest is up to them.

Advertisements

You gotta love Samantha Jones……..

Standard

Because I sometimes have such a vulgar sense of humour, and lets face it, she’s bloody funny, I’m going to post a few quotes from Samantha Jones of Sex and the City fame. I think deep down, I’m a mixture of Carrie and Charlotte(in the daytime) and even deeper down I’m Samantha (at night and behind a few locked doors!!!) heee haa. But with far less of an…….ummmmmmmmm……appetite. and far more conservative. in fact much, much more conservative.

Top 10 Samantha Jones Quotes

Samantha Jones (played by Kim Cattrall) – Sex and the City

1. Fuck me badly once, shame on you. Fuck me badly twice, shame on me.

2. Could you shave or something? Blowing you is like getting my teeth flossed.

3. I love the stock market: a room full of screaming, sweaty men, all trying to get it up.

4. I will not be judged by you or society. I will wear whatever and blow whomever I want, as long as I can breathe and kneel! (my all time favourite quote!!!!!!)

5. The bad news is you’re fired. The good news is now I can fuck you.

6. Who knows? He’s a man. You could lay your pussy on a table right in front of one and still not know what he’s thinking.

7. The good ones screw you, the bad ones screw you, and the rest don’t know how to screw you.

8. Money is power. Sex is power. Therefore, getting money for sex is simply an exchange of power.

9. If we could perpetually do blowjobs to every guy on earth, we would own the world…and at the same time have our hands free.

10. You men have no idea what we’re dealing with down there. Teeth placement, and jaw stress, and suction, and gag reflex, and all the while bobbing up and down, moaning and trying to breathe through our noses. Easy? Honey, they don’t call it a job for nothing.

and there we have it. makes me laugh, she does.

as the say in every kitsch household in South Africa:

live                      love                       laugh                        smile